Snap Fitness (Chicago)

So I’m in the Chicago area this week for the Holidays, and I decided I would use Snap Fitness’s week-long trial membership for the week.  I fill out the online form, wait for someone to call. And when they don’t I decide to go over and see if I can use it anyway.  It’s like 20 degrees, I’m standing at the door, and I can’t get in because the door requires a member’s card to unlock.  I call them while looking in, but no one picks up so I leave a message.  As I peer in through the frosty windows. I notice that this place has dumbells, machines, and a Smith Machine (bleh).  No squat rack. No bench rack.  Not. Even. One. Barbell.

I get back into the car and drive home.  While one the way they called me back, apologizing for keeping me waiting because she was dealing with a customer. She asked if I had any questions so I asked about the lack of squat racks/barbells.  She said they don’t have those, but they do have a smith machine.  She did acknowledge though that this makes “squatting 400 pounds impossible”.  While I will not be squatting THAT much weight (yet), I told here I didn’t think it was a good match.

It was already afternoon, and I needed to go back home to take care of things.  So I ended up not working out.  This is the problem with gym surfing, You’ll never know what you’re going to get.  This day has seen me at my worst.  A place that is so woefully inadequate that it doesn’t even allow me to follow my starting strength template.

Days in: 118

Amount paid: $0

Telos Fitness Center

Well I decided to go out to BFE this week and try out Telos Fitness Center.  I was a little leery because the logo looks like this is the place where you go to wait for the spaceship to pick you up.  However, I was impressed with the place.  It’s like Lifetime Athletic gone Vegas, it’s got a lot of resources to help you get you to where you want to go.  I see a lot of older people here.  Makes sense because of the time I workout (around lunch time).  Also makes sense because of the location, this place is half way to Frisco.  Being a fancy place out in the burbs is not going to attract the young hip crowd like LA fitness.

Telos is greek for complete.  Sticking to the Grecian theme, the whole place is bedecked with various architectural details that pay homage to ancient Greece. This place feels like one of the casinos in Vegas. They’re imitation Corinthian columns, but it’s a quality imitation.  When you walk in it feels more like a hotel. The guy who takes your member card is wearing a dress shirt and tie instead of workout clothes. There’s a bar/restaurant across from the front entrance, and the sales people’s work spaces are all fancy with frosted glass and stuff.  To better give you an idea of the feel of the place, they have conference rooms, a salon, a chiropractor, and massage therapists all working here.

Layout

They have four  different levels, the top is a track and a few other weights. The ground floor has “the Coliseum”.  This is where you have a circle of cardio machines all facing inward to the weight machines.  They have two squat racks and bench racks.  This place feels more like it’s slanted for physical therapy, but they have dumbbells that go all the way up to 150 pounds.  Impressive.  The first below-ground floor is where you will find the pilates equipment, more cardio machines, some other balancing/weight equipment, and the salon, chiro, and massage tables.  The second basement is where they have the fencing club, squash courts, and my personal favorite: a squash court that’s filled with functional movement equipment.  Basically, it’s a small crossfit box.  It’s absolute silence in there. When I worked out the first time the bench racks in the Coliseum were being used so I had to go down to this room to lift.  It was also nice to do deadlifts here as well.

I should also mention the pool.  They have a very resort looking pool. I was unable to enjoy it because of the polar vortex, but one thing the pictures do not show is that because this place is right next to the Tollway you have a lot, and I mean a lot, of noise. Not really that relaxing, but it sure does look sweet.

Classes

They do have a lot of classes, although the yoga/pilates classes are $5 apiece (at least with the basic package).  They also have some other therapy/personal training classes that cost even more.  I didn’t get a chance to try out any of these because I’m not interested in any of the free classes. The free ones are the Zumba/shredded/boot camp classes.  Right now I’m just relying on sprinting to work on my conditioning, so I  don’t really want to work on slow steady state stuff.

Locker Rooms

Very nice, very posh.  It has a classic feel like Tom Landry. You have hot tubs with big screen TVs overlooking them.  You have armchair recliners with big screens showing ESPN. They also provide everything you would need to shower/shave.  This is also the ONLY place I have been to that offers aftershave!!! That is amazing.  It doesn’t feel like a spa, but it does feel luxurious.

Surfability

Fairly easy, you just sign up online and sign up. The tour seems optional, and you get a whole week. 

Days in: 115

Amount paid: $0

The Studio

It's a bit far from home, but when I saw that The Studio offers a two week trial pass I just couldn't pass it up.  This place definitely strikes me as a place simply for trainers to work with their clients.  When I walked in with my two week pass there was no one there to greet me, but a trainer(possibly manager) waved me over and told me where the locker room was, and that I should sign in.  That was it. No tour, no nothing. I didn’t even sign a waiver.  I understand that that this guy couldn’t really do anything because he was working with a client, but this was even more casual than 24 hour fitness.

For the two weeks that I was there, I saw only two other people working out there without trainers. Because this is really for people who workout with trainers, this is an interesting environment. It’s the opposite of a meat-and-greet like LA fitness, it feels very cliquish.  Everyone is paired up. Except for me. I’m all alone.

Because this is for personal training, no group classes are offered, so this is not a place to go to if you want to do the occasional yoga or spin class.  I also have to say that I was worried when I came in that I would see all the latest fads being done here.  When I see commercials for EXTREME TRAINING I just kind of shut off. I've never been attracted to the flashy stuff, more of a strong fundamentals kind of guy.  So I was worried that I would see people flailing at cardio ropes and stuff, but the exercises the trainers were having their clients do was much more basic, less trendy, then what I was expecting. A pleasant surprise.

Layout/facilities

This place consists of three rooms. The first room is the machines/cardio equipment.  I think the first room is for personal trainers working with clients only, but if that’s the case it is stupid because there are some machines/equipment that can only be found in the first room. For example, the dip rack and triceps extension machines are only in the first room.  I used the first room and I didn’t pick up any weird looks.  I also made darn sure to be super polite when asking if the trainer was using equipment I wanted to use.

The second room is the DB rack with some more machines and a bench rack. They have dBs that go up to 120, but for the life of me I could not find the 25 pounders. This was highly annoying.  The second room is a little different from the other two because there is no music playing in that room. It’s dead quiet. I actually like it, as I tend to find music distracting, rather than amp me up.

The third (and personal fav of mine) is for Olympic lifting. They’ve got two squat racks, two Oly platforms, and two difference set of bumper plates.  This was definitely my favorite room. They even have a bowl of chalk for me to use! Even though the trainers use this room all the time not once did they have their client perform squats/deadlifts/overhead press. So there was no wait to use the equipment.

Locker room

It’s quite serviceable, they provide everything you would need with the exception of aftershave (do gyms just not believe in aftershave?!?!?!?!). It seemed clean with the exception of the faint smell of mildew.  The smell, it felt like, came from poor ventilation rather than a lack of cleaning. They shower stalls were perfectly fine and the soap/shampoo was nice as well.  They even offered towels, so that’s really nice.

Surfability

Man this place is easy to surf. They are all about client training (probably why they include two free training sessions with the trial membership) so if you come in here to work out on your own they really don’t bother you.  There was no waiver to sign, nothing. Just come on in and enjoy yourself.  I actually tested to see how long I could go before they realized I was over my two week limit and I managed to get in two more workouts before one of the trainers actually recognized me and said I needed to make a decision.  It kind of felt like having sex with your girlfriend right before breaking up with her. You feel kind of shitty for doing it, yet you do it anyway because you can.

I was just surprised at the lack of a sales pitch.  I still don’t know what their monthly rates are, if they require a contract, anything like that. There was zero sales pitch.  They are simply not concerned with having people come here on their own to work out.

Larry North (Cityplace)

This place is like a cross between Equinox and Diesel. It’s feels like Diesel because it doesn’t get very crowded and it’s in an office building. It’s like Equinox because it feels very spa/posh.  For example, they have two coed hot tubs. The décor is very upscale, you have fancy sculptures in recessed wall niches.  This place is like a corporate version of Equinox. Instead of a bunch of trophy wives working out in yoga pants this place is filled with people working out on their lunch break. I can only imagine the convenience of having a gym just an elevator ride away from your office.

However, one of the issues with being in a corporate building is that this place is closed on Sundays.  I repeat, IT'S CLOSED ON SUNDAYS!!! For me, that's a deal breaker because I sometimes have to workout on Sundays to keep to my workout schedule.  But the ambiance sure is nice here.

Layout/Facilities

Did someone say hot tub???

They don’t have a pool, but they have two coed hot tubs.  Nice.  The dumbbells only go up to 100#, and most of their machines, while not the latest, are all nice.  I did see a machine out of order, but giving that I was there for only one day I have no idea how long it has been like that.  The cardio section is pretty large, especially compared to the fact that they only have one squat rack. This squat rack was being used the whole time I was there by personal trainers, so if I had wanted to squat then things would have been… complicated.  They did have like three bench racks though, so if you’re like your typical guy you’ll be fine. They have lots of personal trainers, saw like four working while it was the lunch rush

As you can see, quite the lunch crowd here.

They don’t have an Olympic platform or bumper plates, but they do have a ton of padding so one can do deadlifts and not disturb the conference rooms below (The manager told me that this is, in fact, a real issue with the building).

They have a full basketball court, and man that place is quiet. It’s has a lot of sound baffling on the walls, so sounds are swallowed up rather than echoed off the walls. It makes for a very Zen basketball experience.

They are fixing to upgrade a lot of stuff. Most of it is structural, deadening the sound from the gym to the banquet hall below, but some will also be spent on equipment.  Given though that their target client is more corporate and less athlete/meathead, I doubt they will be getting more squat racks and bumper plates.

Classes

I didn't get to take their "Chiseled" class while there, but I got to look at their schedule and the timing is perfect for someone who works at cityplace. Otherwise, you'd have to leave work early/late in order to get to a class. This all makes perfect sense, but if they want to bring in clientele from outside the building they may have to start having stuff at 630 pm.

Locker Rooms

So fly.

These locker rooms are nice. Like, super nice.  I would say the showers/lockers are better than Equinox, except that you have to bring your own lock.  The products aren’t name brand, but to be honest if you have to bring  one thing (aftershave) it’s just as much a hassle as bringing everything (shampoo, aftershave, shaving cream, etc). The stalls themselves are extremely nice. Unlike Equinox, they don't have these wooden palates with screws that can cut into your feet. It definitely feels like a spa/resort here.

Surfability

The website says there is a free 7 day trial pass. The website, it seems, lies.  When I filled out the online form I waited two days for them to contact me. After that, I called them up and asked about it. The manager didn’t know about the 7 day pass, but said I could try it out a couple of times if I wanted to.  This couple of times seems to have been compressed to one day. I imagine I could have gotten away with going there twice, but I think the second time would have resulted in a lot more sales pressure, so I bailed.